Reflection :: 2015

View fullsize

2015 was an unbelievable year for me. It started in Austria, where I hung out with over 300 American Military kids living in Europe and ended in New York City with my Mammy. The amount of unexpected travel and memories I made is out of this world. I flew to 4 different countries and across America (a few times). I somehow convinced some of my favorite people that a hot air balloon ride and wine tasting in the same day was a good idea (turns out it was a fantastic idea). I took 14 girls, that I had never met before to summer camp, all while trying to continue to be a good leader to my current seniors. My career was booming and I worked insane hours. When I looked back on the continuing education I took this past year, I went to a class every 4-6 weeks without even realizing it. Being in business for yourself is both rewarding and stressful, but the education is always inspiring and reminds me why I'm in this business. I have so many more memories that I could touch on, but then you would be reading this post for daayyzz. Don't worry, my adventure page is in the works!

How did I get so lucky to have had these doors open for me this past year? I will never know. What I do know is my prayers were definitely answered. I'm not perfect and living in a broken world isn't easy. Pulling closer to Him is something I remind myself of daily. I tend to fail, and it's a good thing He's so gracious to forgive. I have built many friendships along the way and have gone deeper with existing ones. I've been a part of many happy times but also heart wrenching times with some people I hold so dear to my heart. I had a phenomenal 2015 but I know for many, they were ready for 2016. 

Now that 2016 is here, let me tell you that I had a booming start! Times Square?? Pinch me! I'm dreaming! Now that I've settled back into reality. I'm starting to look at 2016 and think to myself, "what do you have in store for me?" I've already had to deal with some pretty heavy stuff. I've seen many of my loved ones around me in pain. Heart-Wrenching-Pain. I'm 11 days into the new year and I'm experiencing so much agony for people I care deeply about. I have no control over any of it, that's the worst part. All I can do is sit back and offer love and support.

Thank you 2015 for showing me what I am truly capable of and that when you want something bad enough, you can make it happen with a little effort. 2016, I have mixed feelings about you so far.. Bring it! 

Photo Credit :: Natalie Puls Photography

LENT || Ash Wednesday || February 18, 2015

Lent. It's a time to take distractions away from your life. A time for simple living, prayer and fasting. 40 days to be exact. 40 days to "repent" and re-focus our lives. It's a time to grow closer to God. It's a time to take away the things that are getting in the way of our relationship with Him. Lent is a trial run to a new lifestyle. Going into Lent this year has weighed heavy on my heart. As I thought and prayed about what I want to give up, I literally couldn't come up with anything that I felt as a struggle to "give up" for 40 days. French fries, maybe? They really are my weakness. I can eat a healthy meal, but put french fries in my face and I'm done for! As I prayed, "Lord, do you want me to give up french fries?" I didn't have clear sign or feeling that this is what he wanted me to do to draw closer to Him. I kept praying.

Yesterday, Fat Tuesday, the day I really needed to figure out what I am giving up for 40 days and I am slammed at work, running behind and I can barely breath. I had 5 minutes to sit down, I look at my phone and my best friend Jessica had sent me an article link, "Why you need to know your own soul before you look for a soulmate." I read it and it's a great article. Single, married, young, old, it doesn't matter! Read it. I linked it for you. It's just a push of a button.

I call my best friend after work. We chat about the article, what we relate to, what we need to be more mindful of, etc. We can agree that we both are just silly, 20 something year olds that really don't know what love is supposed to look like at this point in our life. I've always been a firm believer in truly loving yourself before being involved in a relationship. I feel that I have done a good job at it. I don't try to "find" a relationship and I definitely don't want a Jerry Maguire, "you complete me" in my life.

Which leads me to what I am giving up this year for Lent....

Dating.

That's right... Dating. Dating is different for everyone, so let me explain the kind of dating I am talking about.  The kind of dating that two people meet socially for companionship, beyond friendship. It's so exciting you take an extra hour to get ready or buy a new outfit. The type of dating that you call your best friend because it was so great, or not so great. The kind that you're hoping for a Goodnight kiss. Someone that you are truly interested in and maybe would go steady with. The kind of dating that could potentially lead to marriage.

I am choosing to take dating out of my life because I feel like it is distracting my relationship with God.  My most recent ex and I separated just shy of 6 months ago. I wanted zero to do with men when we originally broke up and that still stands true today. Being in a relationship sounds exhausting right now, but honestly, who doesn't love the attention and companionship of someone else? God made us to naturally want companionship, but healthy companionship. With that being said, I have been on a few dates, a friend even convinced me to get on an internet dating site for a hot second. Nothing mind blowing or life changing happened. No wedding bells. Mostly just no connections beyond the normal interaction of two people exchanging a few words.

I know in my heart that I don't want to meet "the one" right now, so why am I going on dates and wasting my time and their time? I don't want to give a false impression and awaken someone's feelings without any intentions of reciprocating those feelings. I know what that's like, it's heartbreaking and I do not wish to do that to anyone.

It's time for me to re-focus on my career, family, friends, young life and life in general. More importantly, it's time to re-focus on my loving God. I need to grow and pull closer to him. He has graced me with a beautiful life and by focusing on him rather than my marital status, one day, dating won't seem like a chore and this will have been for the right reasons.

Now ask yourself, "What I am giving up for Lent?"

Young Life camp || Innsbruck, Austria

Family, friends and clients!! I have been selected to go on a mission trip to serve at a young life camp for high schoolers living on military bases in Europe. I am beyond excited to have this opportunity, but I need your help to get there. If you would like to throw a dollar or two my way, I would be so extremely appreciative. I am also accepting a lot of prayers! Please check out my GoFundMe for more information. Thank You!! Love you all!